


Dance for me?

by the_toadlet



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slurs, i forgot how explicit it is but uhh, imma say Fairly, lmao im so sorry, the second part is Slighty written?? ot v much i haven't worked on it in a While, theres a bit of wanking, this is never gonna be updated again but i wanted to post it, uhhh Porn, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 08:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13520514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_toadlet/pseuds/the_toadlet
Summary: Murder, intrigue, and a dashingly charming police officer- all Dan needs.The scene is set- a series of murders in 1922, an undercover officer who's discovering that he may not be as straight as he thought, a gorgeous young drag queen, and a budding romance between furtive glances over shoulders. Detective Phil Lester is sent to bust a drag ball, but instead is drawn into the eyes of Daniel Howell. He makes an impulsive choice, and begs the young man to help him- the murders are stacking up, and Phil needs a partner.Dan, of course, agrees. How could anyone resist the deep blue eyes of someone that swept you off your feet?





	Dance for me?

Daniel twirled around the room, smirking at men from under his heavy makeup. The entire ball here was men, of various shape and size but with one unifying factor- they were all gay. At least, that was what was hoped. There could always be a copper undercover, just waiting to spring a trap and have them all arrested.

 

Dan tried not to think about that when he was in his drag persona, as he liked to call it. He was at one of the weekly drag queen balls and he had a plan to get a nice young man back to his home so he could lay with him(as a man would lay with a woman, Dan’s mother’s voice rang through his head).

 

The foul beast, how dare her claws still hold him after all this time?

 

Dan bumped into a man, in a nice tux with a silk bowtie gracing his chest and causing the stark paleness of his throat look all the more inviting. Dan tilted his head and let a flirtatious smile play at his lips.

 

“ I’m so sorry, dear sir. I’m afraid I didn’t see you there, but now that I’ve had a look at you…” Dan trailed off and surveyed the man in front of him. His shoes were impeccably polished, nary a speck of dust upon them, and Dan very nearly grinned when he finally got to the blush dusted across the man’s face. “I must say, I don’t regret bumping into you, if only to see how marvelous you look in your tux. May I ask your name?”

 

The man was a gorgeous shade of pink at this point. He fidgeted with his cuffs, adorned with what seemed to be solid gold cufflinks, and stared over Dan’s shoulder.

 

“ My name is Philip.” Dan wanted to pout at the man- Philip- for not playing his little game.

 

“ Oh, what a wonderful name. Fitting for a man such as yourself.” Dan twiddled his finger in the loose curls spilled across his shoulders, naught but a wig(but an excellent one if he was being fair). His long eyelashes, fake, fluttered alluringly as he tried to hide a smirk from the vaguely taller man.

 

“ I, erm, thank you. May I inquire as to what you call yourself?” Philip had slid his hands behind his back, obviously an attempt to hide his restless hands, and he had tilted forward in a mockery of a bow.

 

“ Daniel, at your service.” Dan dipped into an elegant curtsy, sweeping the azure cloth of his gown away from the floor. Philip looked like he was about to faint, Dan noticed with some amount of amusement. “But you can call me Dan, if it pleases you.”

 

“ If I’m to call you Dan, you must call me Phil. It is only polite.” Phil had a smile twitching about his(gorgeous, luscious, _absolutely fuckable)_ lips when he reached out a hand. “Care for a dance?”

 

Dan felt blessed by the good Lord above when Phil finally started to flirt back. Dan lifted a hand, adorned with a silken glove and a bracelet made of pearl and silver, to gently place it into Phil’s proffered grasp.

 

“ I’d be delighted, my dear fellow.”

 

Dan was excited to learn that not only was the mysterious Phil charming and lovely, he was a fabulous dancer. They swept and twirled, and Dan felt like he was floating when he laughed and flirted with the man in front of him. Dan’s dress swirled around their feet like azure waves, sparkling from the endless amount of glass beads painstakingly stitched on.

 

Dan pretended it was simply magic that made the light dance about them.

 

He smiled and laughed, genuinely instead of merely putting on a show, and delighted in the silver bells cascading from the other man’s mouth. It seemed Phil and himself had chemistry already, and Dan sorely hoped he would be able to seduce the man to his bed.

 

The song ended with a twirl and Phil dipping Dan nearly to the ground, thankfully not letting him fall, and a sweet smile shared between them.

 

“ My dear sir, that was a simply marvelous dance. Care to dance again for the next song?” Dan smirked and let his hands wander down to Phil’s plump bottom. Phil squeaked in only the most manly of fashions and nearly dropped his companion.

 

“ Daniel!” Phil’s voice was remarkably higher in pitch, and Dan felt a giggle bubbling in his throat.

 

“ Yes, Philip?” Dan’s teasing tone and lack of movement regarding his hands on Phil’s arse made Phil an even darker shade of pink. Phil shuffled his hands, keeping Dan aloft.

 

“ I’ll dance with you when you remove your hands from my buttocks.” Dan laughed.

 

Phil smirked and let Dan fall. He squeaked and scrambled to catch himself, relinquishing his grasp on Phil’s tush(i hope you realise i had to look up synonyms for ass for this fucking bit of story).

 

Dan lifted himself off the floor and pouted at the man standing in front of him.

 

“ I cannot believe you had the audacity to let me fall. Some gentleman you are.” Dan sounded disapproving, but the twinkle in his eye told otherwise.

 

“ I know, I know, barely a gentleman in this day and age.” Dan groaned and rolled his eyes, but offered his hand with a flourish.

 

“ You’re a twat.” Dan grumbled when Phil twirled him back onto the dance floor.

 

“ Shh. Just enjoy the music.”

 

Dan grinned and shook his head, letting himself get back into the swing of it.

 

They ended up dancing most of the night, Dan finding himself swaying to the music with his head on Phil’s collarbone and a smile tugging at his lips. The song ended with a trailing end note, and Dan glanced up at Phil.

 

He seemed pensive about something, staring over Dan’s shoulder with a furrowed brow.

 

“ Phil? Are you alright?” Phil jolted slightly, obviously not expecting Dan’s voice.

 

“ Yes, absolutely, the bees knees.” Phil smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked… off.

 

“ Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Dan was growing ever more concerned, as Phil looked like he was about to faint.

 

“ Can… can we go somewhere else?”

 

“ I suppose? Here, I know a broom closet nearby.” Dan took Phil’s hand and dragged him through the crowd of men, heading out of the main hall and into a side passage. His gown swept behind him, the expensive fabric whirling about his heels. “Here.” He opened the door with a flourish, only to find two men, their hands around each others cock, both glaring at the door. The shorter one had a bemused smile, whereas the tall, lanky fellow beside him was completely pink with embarrassment.

 

“ Oh, I’m so sorry! Here, we’ll just be on our way now.” Phil quickly closed the door and backed away, Dan following with a slight chuckle.

 

“ Sorry, I didn’t realise someone might be using it. How about we go to the back room?” Phil looked a little worried, perhaps if there would be another couple going at it, but Dan grinned and led him off in a different direction.

 

The back room was a slightly larger place, hazy from past smokes and shags, bearing only a table and a questionable couch that sagged in the centre. Phil’s eyes were darting about the room nervously, and Dan turned to him.

 

“ Phil? Are you sure you’re alright? You seem to be in quite a state, what are you working yourself up over?” Phil was pale, paler than he was when Dan first set eyes on him, and Dan was more than concerned for this poor boy he’d only known a night.

 

“ I, um. Do you promise not to hate me?” Phil seemed more nervous than he was earlier, and Dan wanted to reach out and reassure him everything would be alright. Of course, this was nineteen-twenty-two, and he seriously doubted that _anything_ would be alright.

 

“ I promise, Phil.” Phil took in a deep breath before turning to meet Dan’s gaze.

 

“ I’m an undercover detective.” Dan stumbled back in shock.

 

“ I… have to go. I’m sorry, Phil.” Dan turned and tried to get out of the room, but a hand on his arm gave him pause.

 

“ Please, at least hear me out? Tonight… has been one of the best nights of my life. I,” Phil paused to breath again, shallower this time. Dan could hear the raw emotion, and it was nearly enough to sway him into turning around.

 

He didn’t, though.

 

“ Dan, I think I might be a homosexual?” Dan wrenched his arm out of Phil’s grasp and swirled out of the building.

 

He so very much wanted to believe Phil, but…

 

Phil was there to bust them.

 

He was there to harm.

 

Dan couldn’t bear to stay in the same room as someone who would _deliberately_ hurt the people who were only there to find love(and sex but shh).

 

Dan arrived at his shoddy flat in record time, living only a few blocks from the hall that held the drag ball. He stripped out of his gown, a favourite of his, and immediately went to scrub the heavy makeup off his face.

 

“ Why do all the cute ones end up being terrible?” Dan grumbled to himself as he drew a bath in the slightly scary pewter bathtub. It was nearly scalding when he eased himself in, and he relaxed with a sigh. He had work tomorrow, as a cocktail waiter at a nearby bar, but he really wished he didn’t. It paid the bills(mostly), and it got off at a good enough time he could go to his weekly drag ball.

 

Dan woke up a few hours later, still in the bath with the water gone cold. He cursed, lifted himself out, and attempted to find a towel in the still dark room.

 

The sun rose just as Dan tumbled into bed. He groaned loudly, threw a pillow over his head, and tried to sleep.

 

He had work in a few hours, unluckily, and he just wanted to sleep. Only… he couldn’t get Phil out of his head. All he could think of was how lovely the man looked with the lights shining in his hair, a smile stretching his cheeks and glitter dancing on his skin. Dan tossed in the muddles sheets, throwing the pillow from off his face and across the room. He couldn’t sleep, not like this. Dan slipped a hand down his pants and groaned again. He stroked the silky skin, letting his hand run up and down his length. His head feel back against his other pillow, and he let harsh gasps escape his mouth. Dan set a leisurely pace, slow strokes with the occasional twist near the head. Blood rapidly filled the cock under his administrations, and while Dan knew it was “a sin under the eyes of the Lord”, he couldn’t help himself. His hand sped up without his consent, and Dan could feel the brink of orgasm approaching.

 

Dan moaned, a loud, pornographic thing, and felt warm liquid slide down his softening member. His heart was fluttering and his breathing laboured, but he felt like he could sleep without Phil twirling across the backs of his eyelids.

 

Dan used a shirt he peeled off the floor to clean his slightly oversensitive cock. He threw the soiled cloth over to join his discarded pillow. He turned and buried his face into the pillow under him, and let the wave of sleep overtake him.

 

Dan woke to his alarm clattering across the desk on the other side of his room. He had put it there to urge himself to get out of bed after ball nights, but now it just seemed like a stupid idea.

 

Dan rolled himself out of bed and padded across the room, picking up both the shirt and pillow on his way to click the alarm off. He had to get his uniform on, a gaudy suit made of light green fabric and pink glittered trim. He didn’t particularly like his job, simply because the casino always smelled of smoke and piss, but it payed enough that he could afford his flat and the makeup that went into drag nights.

 

He arrived just barely on time, slipping in through the back door and checking in on the roster. He had actual wait duty tonight, unfortunately, instead of simply mixing drinks at the bar. That meant wandering around the hazy room, leaning onto tables, pulling his best flirt face and asking orders from sleazy men who would most often spit at him and laugh when he flinched.

 

Yeah, Dan really hated his job.

 

He snatched a loose sheaf of papers, shuffled them into some sort of order, and swirled out into the actual casino.

 

From an outside perspective, the building was actually quite nice. High ceilings, chandeliers, and spaces between the tables wide enough for three men to walk abreast. The truth of it all, though, was that the lack of windows caused the smoke from the fat cats smoking cigars to waft around the room in tendrils and clouds. It _was_ a nice enough building, when it wasn’t packed with prostitutes hired for a one night stand and men playing with more money than they deserve.

 

Dan smiled at men who cheated the poor out of everything they earned, ladies who had sex for a living, and tried not to grimace when the men smiled with too many teeth gone or solid gold.

 

“ Hello, sir, would you care for a drink?”

 

“ Shove off, you fucking cunt.” The man grumbled, spitting at Dan’s feet. Dan smiled thinly and twirled away.

 

“ Oi, you! Gimme a drink, would ya?”

 

“ Of course sir, what would you like?”

 

“ You lot got any panther piss?”

 

“ One whiskey, absolutely.” Dan scribbled on the paper he collected, a symbol he had made to mean whiskey. It was barely the start of the night, and he had a feeling it was going to go pretty terribly.

 

Dan dashed back and forth between the kitchens and the actual casino area, bringing drinks and occasionally darting back to wipe spittle off his face with a damp cloth. The other waitresses gave him sympathetic looks whenever he did that, seeing as he was the only male on the wait staff and was really the only one who got spat at. He could say with absolute certainty, though, that it was better than being spanked by some of the drunker patrons.

 

Dan was trying to figure out if the man in front of him, one of their regular customers, actually needed another drink or if he should be escorted out when a voice spoke remarkably close to his ear.

 

“ That doesn’t look like anything legible to me, does it actually mean something?” Dan nearly jumped out of his skin, whirling around to see none other than Phil.

 

“ Ph- Phil-” Dan’s breathing sped up, and he honestly couldn’t tell if it was anxiety or arousal. “How did you find me?” Phil looked a little embarrassed, but he simply nodded to the man behind Dan and dragged Dan himself off to one of the back rooms.

 

“ Look, I’m sorry about last night, but I really need help. Do you remember how I said I was a detective?”

 

“ How could I forget?” Phil waved off the snark in Dan’s voice and looked him dead in the eye.

 

“ There’s a killer in london, and I need your help before he kills someone else.”

 

“ _My_ help? Why me?” Dan spluttered.

 

“ Because my usual partner is in Canada? Dan, I like you, I think I could actually work with you, and you’re pretty damn smart and I need that. You’re also a master at makeup and disguises.” Phil was holding Dan by the shoulders now, as the younger man looked like he was about to pass out.

 

“ A _murderer?_ Jeez, Mum is gonna hate me even more now.” Dan muttered to himself, staring intently at a spot just to the left of Phil’s(still impeccably clean) shoe. He looked back up to Dan’s face, paler than he was before but with a hard glint in his eye. “I’ll do it. I’ll help you catch a fucking murderer.”

 

And then Dan’s legs gave out and suddenly Phil was holding a very shaky Dan.

 

“ Dan? Are you alright?” Dan snorted.

 

“ Not really, but that’s because I, a homosexual man, am going to help a detective find a fucking killer. You’re lucky you’re cute, bucko.” Phil laughed, but he was blushing a little.

 

“ You think I’m cute?”

 

“ And to avoid that question, I’m afraid I have work to do.” Phil pouted, but led Dan out of the back room they had been hiding in. “But, if you’d like to catch me after my shift, it gets off at two in the morning.” Dan smirked.

 

“ See you then.” Phil winked, and Dan was honestly a little surprised. Most people didn’t stick around until two, least of all people after _him._

 

Dan was honestly exhausted after dealing with some of the more volatile customers, and he had nearly forgotten about Phil waiting for him until the man himself had appeared out of an alleyway.

 

“ Hallo again.” Phil practically purred in Dan’s ear, and god did Dan want to fuck the boy.

 

“ Hello to you too, Phil. Anywhere in particular-” Dan cut himself off with a yawn, and Phil chuckled.

 

“ I think you should go to bed, but I’d like to take you out for a very late dinner first.”

 

“ Or would it be a very early breakfast?” Phil laughed full out this time, and Dan couldn’t help grin. They had started walking down the street together, side by side and Dan really wanted to grab Phil’s hand(he didn’t).

 

“ Both. Are you cold?” Dan was, in fact, shivering, but he was sure it’d be fine.

 

“ I’m fine.” Dan could nearly head the eyeroll.

 

“ Here, take my jacket.” Phil stripped off his leather coat, and instead of simply offering it, he held it out as if to put it on Dan. Dan blushed, but held out his arms and sighed in relief when he felt the warmth traveling up his arms. “So I’m guessing you’re more fine now?” Phil teased lightly, and Dan rolled his eyes fondly. Were they at the fond stage yet? Apparently they were, because Dan was pretty fond of the bumbling dork beside him.

 

“ Thank you.” Dan glanced into the darkness to his left, trying to hide the smile spreading across his face.

 

“ You’re very welcome. We’re here!” Dan turned back to Phil to see him staring at a diner, chromed around the edges and with a slightly flickery sign.

 

“ Phil, this looks a little-”

 

“ I know, I know, but I promise it’s got fantastic food.” Phil turned to grin at Dan, backlit by the neon sign, and Dan smiled back on impulse. Phil smirked and proceeded to drag dan through the door sending a cheeky wink to the obviously sleep deprived kid behind the counter. “Hey, Seb. Can I get two chocolate milkshakes and some fried for my friend here?” The kid, Seb, smiled ruefully but got to work making the order. Dan stood behind Phil, trying not be too conspicuous. Phil turned back around, smiled(as if he didn’t expect Dan to still be there) and dragged him off to a booth in the corner.

 

“ I’m hoping you’ll tell me about the murderer we’re trying to catch, instead of just leaving me in the dark.” Dan muttered once they had gotten situated, Dan still wrapped in Phil’s coat. Phil nodded and leaned down on his elbows.

 

“ They’ve killed two people so far, and I suspect serial killer but it’s gotta be three or more murders before we label it as serial killings.”

 

“ What were the victims names?”

 

“ Doris Schwartz and Harold Weasley. Both dead in their houses, a single bullet to the head on both of them. Same gun.” Seb slid their shakes down the table and settled a tray of fries in front of Dan, who smiled and thanked the boy. Seb nodded and went back to his post behind the counter. “It was a Mauser c96, if you know your guns.”

 

“ I really don’t, but that just means you’ll have to teach me about them” Dan smiled and licked his lips suggestively. Phil frowned at him.

 

“ Dan, this is a serious thing we’re doing.”

 

“ I know, I know, but I have flirtiness in my blood.” Phil finally smiled a little, and Dan grinned before schooling his face and resting his head oh his hand.

 

“ Good to know. But seriously, I think it might be a-”

 

The door slammed open, and what looked like an officer, stood. He was breathing heavily and he turned a frantic stare to Phil.

 

“ Lester, sir, they found another body. Same as the last two.” Phil stood up abruptly and grabbed Dan, who was just barely taking a sip of his milkshake.

 

“ Come on Dan, time to go.” Phil looked down at his brown haired companion. “Welcome to being a detective.”  



End file.
